Funniest reason to change the channel...

So, why do they still MAKE this show?
Do the mindless hordes (Cue starting here[1][2]) really still tune in for this stuff? I mean... Is it getting the ratings? The merchandising? Can you buy a Funniest Home Videos coffee mug? Because, in my personal and loud opinion, this show sucks. I actually have been known to enjoy about 1/20th of a show, and that's in a good week. Most of the time, ti's just repeats. And I'm sorry, but there's only so many times I can watch another guy getting hit in the balls by his 5 year old with a baseball bat before I just zone out.

Maybe that's the trick.. Maybe Funniest Home Videos is actually being sponsored by Drug Cartels to convince people to just mellow out, smoke a joint so the show doesn't bore them to tears. After all, Marijuana is the gateway drug. From tehre they can move onto the hard stuff. Like Plaghdough. Oooooh.

Moving right along...
So... I'm paranoid.
And, as I'm blogging, this becomes a public vent box for my paranoia in the possible hope of resolution or at least the satisfaction of knowing my depression has scared others.

So, Doc has a LAN right. Now, lately.. I dunno... Maybe the whole happy thing[3] has lowered my defences to sarcasm and pointed wit... But it seems like Doc ain't all that happy with me. I dunno why... Maybe he was eyeing off Emily... Maybe it's because of the hand painted china I took from Silvas party... Whatever. So, I don't seem to get invited to this party.. Once again, strong undertones of Paranoia here. Maybe Doc didn't get time. Maybe he was going to. Maybe he forgot. Maybe he considers me enough of a bud that he figured I'd rock upr eguardless. Or maybe I told him I was busy...

But first thing I recall hearing about it, was someone asking if I was going... And I was like 'Huh? What party?'

*Shrug*
Doc, man, if I have done something to offend you, I'm sorry. Just lemme know if I have, and I'll try not to do it in future.

So... Anyway... I did end up going to this LAN party, though not with a computer. From the state of their power, probably just as well. Instead I took an R2D2, bunch of coloured whistles, and some body tattoo blow pens around ina shiny bag for Silvas present. Part of the whole Me working thing is, I have money. I tend to spend this money on presents for friends. After all, it's only money, and they're friends, right? If some material possesions can bring them happiness in place of me due to my lack of time thanks to Harvey normans[4], so be it.

Though apparently Silva did like her presents. And I got a BADASS Matrix screensaver outta it... Which reminds me, that's in my jacket pocket still... Which reminds me, I have a CD in my car... Meh...

Oh. If I didn't mention before, I spent the weekend at Emily's. Yes, she's good. Yes, I'm good. Yes, it was good. I'm waiting for an exclusive deal from a magazine before I tell anymore...

Oooooh.... Sorry, that matrix Screensaver rocks. Muwhahaha.
*Ahem*

It's not a whip, it's a kinky sex toy!
All kinky fantasies aside... Well folks... I need you to keep me real. If I can't do anything eithout checking with Emily first, bitch slap me. No offense to Emily, oh no siree, I'm sure I'll be spending PLENTY of time with her... But I'm my own pimp. Lans are good for the soul. Besides, if she has to go to the LAN to see me, it may assist in the plan to convert her...

Well... That's it folks. A bit longer than my last attempt, I think.... But not as long as many. So with that, I bid you.. Adieu...

Boom, Baby.
--Kiljoy the mindless.
[1] Ooooh, I'm bad.
[2] Quotes replaced by this neet footnote system stolen from Tancred.
[3] You know... Emily and all. Duh...
[4] Praise be to the Master. In his light we Grow. in his Safety we Prosper. In his Wisdom we Learn.[5]
[5] Acient Harvey Norman praise mantra. There's soemthing in the wa--*Erk!*[6]
[6] Kiljoy was not just silenced by Shadow Government operatives controlled by Harvey Norman. Move along now. Nothing to see.[7]
[7] You're next.

posted by Unknown at 6/04/2002 05:07:00 AM [edit]