Sad is the man who can only sit in silence
It feels good to have this back.
This place of expression. It's almost like a very verbose part of me was missing.

Life is hitting me hard though... Most of you who know me know that an excessive amount of whine escapes me for relatively little problem. This is something I'm working on.

Tuesday nights, Thursday nights and Sunday nights are currently the only nights of the week not pre-emptively spoken for for about the next 3 weeks. I'm getting the feeling I've taken on too much, and that this was a very silly thing to do. Still, if I can survive about 4 weeks, then suddenly my schedule opens up again, which will be a thing of beauty.

Oh, and that tag line above is half of one of the two odd little haiku things I've written in the past week. Not nescessarily original, but it felt prolific when I thought of it.

Sadder still is the man who cannot
Anyway. I'm due to be places shortly. Gotta get help with this Calculus junk. I don't know if anyone even reads this currently, but if you do, please, if you're good at Calculus and don't mind being bothered by soemone who's really really bad at it, then let me know. I need all the help I can get. About half of what free time I have is being dedicated to Maths at the minute just so I can try and keep my head above water... =
But anyway... Actually, if you do read this and have me on ICQ, please, let me know. I do write it for myself but it's always nice to get a little feedback on who your audience is and what they think of the quality etc. Oh, and who would of thunk it, ICQ lite does have a history feature hidden away. A poorly designed one, but one none the less.

Hmmm... I had intended for all of this to be beautiful. A butterfly from a cocoon of pent up thought and lack of self expression. I feel I'm failing.. Probably because I feel rushed. But I feel I should mention that I myself am undergoing a metamorphis. From Stuart of old to Stuart of new. The Uni guy. Someone able to grow stubble if not actual hair. Someone who is confident enough to carry on small talk with pretty girls and unknown guys alike. Someone with a white smile and bulging chest. (No, not silicon implants.) Someone who is mobile. Smarter. Funnier. Has a better memory.

I'm trying to evolve here... And an acquisition to be made in the immediate future will be a step along that path. I'm going mobile. A laptop will soon be in my fevered hands and while I fear beyond all measure the lack of it's adequate use, the concept of being able to work anywhere... Being able to take my own environment from place to place with me... The idea of being actually productive while sitting outside a cafe sipping coffee is invigorating. I can see only ways it will improve my life at this stage... And by god, it will improve my life and my working conditions, or I will re-build the thing from the ground up to do so. Against perhaps some advisement the system in question will not be Windows. It will be that other one. The one I used to laugh at. The one with overly stylish "Please love me" appeal. The MAC.

When considering the Mac as an option, I looked at this new OS X of theirs. Unix. Unix with a mass distributed OS sitting atop it. Power and form? But the change of OS is also appealing because of the media hype... I feel as though I have to wrestle with my computer to achieve things these days. The ability to unplug and cart around a OS designed for those that Geek-hood left behind seems appealing... An OS designed to be simple.. And yet running on Unix. Perhaps I will regret this... But I will take all steps to ensure I don't. And it means... Once I fix up my linux system I will have 3 legally running computers in my room. Go figure.

Oh... And this is it for the splurging creature comforts. If you hear or see me looking at anything remotely frivolous, you all have my permission to bitch slap me. Too much money has been spent. Time to tighten my belt. Peel back this skinny, waify form to reveal the white toothed, lean musceled man that resides beneath it... And shock the world.

Speaking of white teethed... Those familair with me know my smile is not perfect. Steps are being taken. Saw the dentist today, and again in a week. Pain and drilling ensued... And now my front teeth look better. Not whiter yet, but better. A chip has been rebuilt. Given another 2 or 3 weeks of regularly scheduled pain, I will begin the tooth whitening process. In 4 weeks from now, I should have a smile which can blind you while you're wearing sunglasses. Speaking of sunglasses, I really must try and locate them... They're in this room somewhere... Something else which needs fixing.

Anyway. Time for me to go eat and study and cry in misery at my ineffectual knowledge.
Wish me luck.
-Stu
"You're a God amongst Insects. Never let anyone tell you otherwise." Magneto, X-Men 2
posted by Unknown at 3/16/2004 02:41:00 AM [edit]